Welcome! To my crazy Life!

Ok, hello all, some of you may know me and my family and then there will be those that do not. So I guess I had better get to introducing myself and my family.

I am Patrick, a 37 year old slightly overwieght guy that has five children and a loving wife. I currently work with Union Pacific Railroad as a Lineman 3rd Class Installation Technician and I am based in Saint Paul, Minnesota. I am a Veteran which has participated in: Desert Shield, Desert Storm, Operation Enduring Freedom, Operation Noble Eagle. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and have kept it hidden from any medical records as an adult and upon leaving the military was given the wonderful diagnoses of PTSD. I personally feel I function fine and do not suffer from PTSD, but my wife tells me I still do some things that are odd and points to PTSD.

As you will recognize from this post, I have five children. 3 are from a previous marriage and 2 my current wife and I adopted from the state of Kansas foster care system. Mariah is 16, Thomas is 14, Hannah is 10, Marissa is 8 and Andrew is 6. I love them all, even with all thier different issues and personalities that they bring.

My wife and I met online in an internet christian chat room in November 1998. We met for the first time December 1998 and married March 1999. My ex-wife still thinks that I was involved with my current with prior to her leaving me, but that is not the case. Had it been, I may have left her rather then her leaving me! :)

Having a large family brings large problems, both financially and emotionally. Sure I love everyone, but let me tell you, it is not easy being a brady bunch (only one short) these days. To top everything off, my wife suffered kidney failure before I had met her and had to have a transplant in 1994. The entire 8 years of our marriage she has always been on some sort of medication to control rejection episodes. Jan 2004 my wife, Dawn started to go down hill and became very sick. The doctors did not know that her kidneys were on the brink of failing because they were acting like a sponge, meaning she drank so much water that her creatine level was very deceptive to a true functioning and it fooled the doctors for a long time before they figured out that her kidney was only fuctioning at about 20%. Dawn went back onto dialysis June 2006.

Dawn was on the nxstage machine for dialysis and did everything from home. It was good and bad at times. The stress on her and the family was so great that I think I started to disappear into the walls and just become apart of the rest of the house, just 'here.' I have said that SO MUCH at church and with others, "I am here" when I am asked how are you doing, and only now, after Dawns second transplant does it really make sense to why I was saying such a thing. I was depressed. People would look at me rather strangly when I would say, "I am here" in a matter of fackly tone, but it was how I felt and they asked. I was not happy, I was not sad, I was just there, functioning and trying to continue doing what I was expected to do, like a machine.

Like I mentioned above, Dawn had her 2nd transplant Feb 7, 2007! Praise God for her sister who gave her the gift of life. Now she is back on the overwhelming amount of medication daily. She was feeling great and on top of the world for a few months and then all of a sudden, out of left field, along came a different person, it was Dawn in body but not in mind. I sought help for her and we found out together that because of the medications, she now has bipolor disorder. What more does God need to wiegh on my wife? I do get upset at that at times, I feel that enough is enough, but again, I know that I am not the only one that feels like that.

We are now in therapy to help learn about the illness of bipolar and to help cope with it. Of course she is on horse pills to help to curb the effects and feelings, but she tells me she does not "feel" now and feels numb. I hope that will get better, I really do not want her to feel like a zombie all the time.

We live in the Hopkins School district, but we are slowly pulling our children from the school system. Some would say, "WHY! It is a great school system!" I guess to each their own in their prospectives. We have had nothing but trouble with the Elementry school that our children attend. The problems between myself and the staff has continued on now for 3 years, enough is enough and now it is time I put my money elsewhere, literally. We are moving Andrew and Marissa to a Privite Spanish Immersion School, and tomorrow I will be visiting Groves Academy (k-12), another privite school which is specifically for children with ADHD. Groves does not have more then 8 children per class and they have an enrollment of 170 and growing. The only children that will be left within Hopkins will be Thomas and Mariah, only because they are much older and desire to stay where they are at.

I hope to be able to converse with other families from all walks of life. As you can see from this post, I am a father, husband, Christian, Electrician and Legion Member. I am concerned about my childrens education, health and general well being. I am also a care giver, and understand the stress and sometimes thankless task that can become. Until next time!